30 Days of Movies: Oh Goodness, Why Am I Doing This....

Damnation  but I hate Twilight.

I won't even post a picture, cause I don't want to even Google the movie poster.

I have seen a LOT of movies. A lot have been based off of books, cause I really like books. But from my years of experience reading books and watching movies, I have learned that book to film adaptions can go really RIGHT or really WRONG.

Twilight went really wrong from the beginning.

I can't blame everything on the film itself, the source material was pretty lousy. But the first Twilight movie was just so bad...so very bad

. First off, the movie is blue. VERY blue. As in, shot through a blue lens for no reason blue. I still can't figure out the bizarre lighting choice, if it was meant to set a tone, well it didn't really work too well. It just made everything look weird and all the people look like they had frostbite.

But once you stop noticing all the weird lighting choices, you notice all the horrid actors. And you WISH you could stop noticing the bad acting and go back to that blissful time when just the lighting was weird. But the acting is bad. Like, how do these people call themselves professional actors bad. Again, I realize they were working off piss poor source material, but still! They are all so stiff in their roles, clearly trying to live up to the impossible standards that millions of Twi-hards had dreamed up by the time the movie released! It was pathetic to see actors that in other roles were superb (Rob Pattinson MADE Cedric Diggory) so ridiculously miscast. I've seen the actors who played Jasper and Rosalie in a few other roles and they actually weren't half bad. But really, for the most part, the cast sucked. Kristen Stewart can't even PRETEND to like her character, and the rest of them are all over acting, trying to 'embrace the character' and its 'full potential'. GAG.


Ugh, even just thinking about how much I used to like this fandom bugs me.
Ah well, live and learn, I suppose.

My rating: 1 star. Watch at your own risk. Unless you have rifftracks or something to make it more tolerable.



When you live forever, what do you live for?
 
Better movies than this one.

Because a Drug Addiction ISN'T Love...PART TWO!

Again and again in the Twilight series, Edward and Bella reflect on the fact that they cannot live without each other. In the very first novel, just moments after Edward admits to Bella [SPOILER ALERT!...no wait, its on the back of the book] that he is a vampire, he also tells her that she is his own personal brand of heroin. 

How a Twilight fan reacts: 'HOW ROMANTICCCCC!!!! THEY ARE SO IN LURVEEEEE!!!! BELLA+EDWARD 4EVERRRRRRR!!!!!'

How a normal person reacts: 'Hmm, heroin, you say? But sir/madam/talking duck, heroin is a horribly addictive drug! It creates physical dependency to the point that a person cannot function at even a basic level without the drug. This sir is in no way love, this is sickness and obsession!'

I cannot stress this enough, Bella and Edward are not in love. Love is not a crazed need to control the other person, love does not demand one person give up their whole life to be with someone, love never hurts those around you in a selfish bid to get what it wants. Funny thing though, Edward and Bella do all of those things.

Whenever Bella wants to go see Jacob (who deserves his own posting so don't you fret) she has to ask Edward's permission. He rarely grants it. When she sees her friend, it's on her boyfriends terms. Bella tries to sneak out one night to see Jacob only to discover that Edward had tampered with her truck so she was left house bound. But even after five seconds fury, she melts under his perfect golden-eyed stare and realizes Edward's probably right. NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE GOOD! These are all signs of a dominant/abusive partner, and my advice to anyone in a relationship like that: GET OUT. Bella is putting herself at the mercy of someone who can and does use whatever means necessary to bend her to his will. He manipulates her, guilts her, makes demands of her, and physically prevents her from acting outside of his wishes. While Edward and the reader justify it as him protecting her, the justification becomes a bit funny when we realize that its him causing all the danger! And even when he tries to back out of her life, he goes about it so horribly and only causes her more pain and puts her in MORE danger. Yet, rather then do the one thing that would remove the danger and keep his empty-headed love interest alive (change her into a vampire) Edward is constantly digging in his heels. He only consents when he has no other option after she nearly dies giving birth to their baby (oh yeah vampires can have babies now, who knew?! [yes vampire baby will get its own post])

Ultimately, after 3.5 books and only inches from death, Bella is made into a vampire. She had been begging practically from their first meeting to be turned. She wanted to be as much like Edward as possible so that he would accept her and love her. Oh, and what did Edward have to do to earn Bella's love? Ha, that's right.....nothing. That's right! All the changing was solely on Bella's side, from the very start of the relationship she isn't good enough for him! She's clumsy while he is graceful. He's smart enough to know the right people to associate with, she makes friends with every Tom, Dick, and Werewolf that comes along. He can protect her from the eeevil vampires that seem to have a GPS tracking collar on Bella, but she is forever blundering blindly into their eeevil schemes. But Edward remains adamant, Bella is NOT to be made into a sparkly vampire. Ever, if he can help it. Even as he slowly comes around to the idea of making her into a vampire, he still throws up impediments. We have to finish High School (Bella: waaaaahh I don't care about HIGH SCHOOL I want to be like yoooooooou) , we have to go to college for at least a semester (Bella: I'm a dumb stupid woman I don't need college because I have no aspirations beyond being live yoooooooooooooooooou), we have to be married first (Bella: I disagree with marriage because my parent marriage failed in what seems to at least have been a passive divorce but I want to be like yooooooooooooouuuu so OK!). She never thinks for herself because she has her wonderful vampire to think for her! Bliss! *Please excuse me for a minute while I shudder in the corner. Again, this topic is gonna get its own post*

 The final point of this post is also the most frustrating for me, personally. When Bella is abandoned by Edward, she plummets into a horrible depression that lasts for MONTHS. Pick up a copy of New Moon and flip around the first few chapters. You'll notice there is a sudden break in the narrative as there are several pages with just the names of months on them. Four pages, four months. As Bella grieves over the abrupt severing of hers and Edwards relationship, she spirals into a dark depression. Depression is bad enough, but Bella refuses to cope with her new life situation. She shuts down and puts her father through the wringer to piece his daughter back together. But despite the best efforts of her father and friends, Bella remains firm in her decision to make sure EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS SHE IS SAD. I understand depression, and as loyal readers of my blog will know I've been dumped once and broken up with once. It sucks, but you have to get over it. Bella, however, is a stupid teenager. And stupid teenagers think that if you are sad now you will always be sad. Boo-frikin-hoo. Bella puts her father, friends, and newly remarried mother through months of stress and worry....all because she and Edward have imagined themselves as characters in a most epic love story.

And that isn't love.



Meh, not as pleased with this one as the previous post in my Twilight series. If you missed the first post, click here.  
As of now, I'm planning to do at least two more Twilight-based posts, one about Jacob being the better choice, and one about why you can't mess with vampire mythology (featuring a special guest: SCIENCE!). Maybe more. We'll see. And if you think I'm wrong on any of these points, please let me know in the comments, I'd love to hear some good defense of these books.

I Can't Live Without You....PART ONE!

Twilight.

Considered a love story for the ages, a Romeo and Juliet crossed with Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy tale for teens, Twilight has takes the world by storm. Easily ninety percent of young adult novels now contain vampires or werewolves in a love triangle, with the occasional ghost, demon, angel, or mermaid thrown in for 'variety'. But if we think for a minuet about the relationship being portrayed between the teenaged mortal and her vampire beloved, does the love story played out in the pages honestly measure up to some of the greatest love stories of all time?

Lets first consider the whole age matter. Bella Swan, our intrepid heroine who we are meant to emulate, is a mere seventeen years old at the opening of the novel. And while to a little 13 year old reader, 17 might seem very mature and grown up, it really isn't. Seventeen is so young! It's certainly no age to be falling in 'eternal' love with someone who was alive at the turn of the century! At seventeen who you are is still changing, you haven't seen much of the world yet, but according to this book we are meant to believe that this vapid girl is mature enough to be ready to marry?! We can take our brains out for a minute and try to forget that Edward is a vampire and that vampires don't age. But when you realize that, in linear time (read: real world time), he was born in 1901, changed in 1918, and has spent 90 years as a vampire when the books take place, things get creepy. Thus, using the magical powers of MATH, we can realize that Edward has been on this earth for just over a hundred years...ummm, does anyone else think this is a little skeezy? Its like extreme pedophilia!

Bella truly will do anything to be with Edward. In the 'New Moon', the second book in the series, Edward realizes that being with Bella isn't safe for her cause...well, it isn't. One of his vampire 'siblings' nearly kills her and Edward decides to up and leave with his family. From the minute Edward leaves her in the forest (which we later find is rife with monsters) Bella becomes a hollow empty shell of a person. Literally. She does nothing but sit and cry and freak out and worry everyone around her because EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW MISERABLE SHE IS. Like many teenaged girls, she sees herself as imperfect and flawed while he is marble-like and perfect. Great chunks of the novels are dedicated to Bella moaning over how she can never attain Edwards level of perfection. He is so much more beautiful then she is, so much more immortal, so much more...glittery! I don't pretend to be much of a fan of teenagers, but a whole series of books dedicated to a relationship that preys on every single teenage girls insecurities, seems so very not ok.

I definitely have more to say on this subject, but considering how many long posts I've put up lately, this will be enough...for now.

Summer Reading Suggetions

It make sense that, since I work in a library, and have access to hundreds of books every day, that choosing what to read over the summer should be a piece of cake (mmm tasty, delicious cake). Well, yes and no. You see, sometimes I just become overwhelmed when trying to find something, there are just SO many books! Most are absolute rubbish, and I'd really rather not waste my time on those books.

This is where all of you come in. I need SUGGESTIONS! Tell me what you're read, what you think I'd like, what you yourself want to read but are to lazy to actually read so you want me to read and summarize for you (I actually would if you really want me to), or something that is totally out there that I would NEVER chose for myself. Anything, really. Please don't be offended if I don't pick/like/finish/find what you suggest, but I will look into all of your suggestions.

Here is my list of summer reading so far:
Animal Farm (Orwell)- My teacher suggested this one, he was actually a bit surprised that I hadn't read it yet. So I figure I'll give it a try, animal and politics...whats not to enjoy!

Battle for the Labyrinth (Rioridin)- Ahhh kids books about Greek mythology! It's the...(thinks)
....fourth book in a series. Really good way to introduce tweens to myth. I highly recommend the series.

Jane Eyre (Bronte)- This one is a re-read, I read it two summers ago so I figured I'd recycle it for this summer :)

Going Rogue (Palin)- Because I actually like her and want to know more about her.

An Obama biography- Because I really don't like him, but he is the president so I should know more about him. this one I do need some direction on. Anyone read a good one? Preferably an unbiased (in either direction) one, if one exists haha.

Either a biography on Washington or Regan- Both awesome presidents that I want to know more about.
Again, suggestions are NEEDED here, we've got soooo many books on both men at work. I could spend a summer reading books on Washington and another on Regan's bios!

Series of Unfortunate Events (Snickett)- Hilarious author, I read the first book, I want to read at least the next two by the end of summer.

Case for a Creator (Strobel)- For someone who considers science 'voodoo magic', this one will take longer (It doesn't interest me, talking about science puts my brain into sleep mode). The author was an atheist who went and interviewed the most-smartest science people he could find to try to prove one and for all that Creationism isn't real...yeah it didn't work out so well.

There's No Place Like Here (Ahern)- Cause what's summer without some chick lit? ;)

Persuasion (Austen)- Ahhhh but this is more of my style of chick lit! My FAVORITE Austen novel deserves another read. Mmmmm Captain Wentworth....

As You Like It (Shakespeare)- I've seen a film version of this, now I want to read the actual play to see if it really is my favorite.

This might look like a 'lot' of books, but I tend to read three of four books at a time so it won't take me long to get through just these. Again, do NOT be shy with suggestions! I've read classics, modern, kids books, vampire books, wizard books, dragon books, princess books, zombie books, sci-fi books, long books, short books, funny books, stupid books!

Inversely, if you're looking for some reading suggestions, trust me, I have PLENTY. Just ask! :)




But if you suggest that I read Twilight, I will punch you in the face. Already went through that phase. It's over now. The books are HORRIBLE and the movies are only good to make fun of. That is all.