Aw boo

Today isn't going to be a funny giggling blog. Today I am upset and facing some uncertainties about my life and future. So rather then like, be constructive and talk about my emotions with someone in real life...I'm going to blog....all together now, can we say 'passive aggressive' and 'non-confrontational'? I'm hoping it will feel like how yelling into a pillow is supposed to feel....I don't yell into my pillows cause I think that's weird (plus I don't want to traumatize my pillows and have them smother me in my sleep).

So today I met with a transfer rep for the university I want to transfer into, and she pretty much made me feel like an idiot for not getting this done sooner. To explain, I'm in my second year-final semester!-at a two year community college Y and the goal has always been to transfer to university X before I even knew what I was going to community college Y for. In the second semester of my first year, my sign language teacher told me that I would make a good ASL interpreter, so I figured why not. So then the plan became: major in humanities or linguists or language of some sort, and take levels 3 and 4 of sign language at university X then...uhh get a job as an interpreter I suppose.

Only I find out now that life SUCKS. Yeah, the courses I've taken don't fit into ummm...anything. WAIT! There is one thing I might do well transferring my credits into!

An ENGLISH DEGREE!!!

...fml

Sorry if you yourself are an English Major, I have just never wanted that for myself.

You: 'So then why did you take so many English courses?'
Me: 'I don't know....cause English is easy for me.....ohhhh'

I mean come on, it's pretty much a useless degree. English majors only exist to make other English majors. Think about it.

So I've been pretty bummed like all day. But after the meeting with the mean dragon lady, I scurried off to the library to hit the interwebs and peruse the undergrad catalog for uni X. Turns out, there are NO programs that interest me enough, that fit with the classes I've taken, and that will get me a degree in two years. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR????? After clicking through the various degrees, I hopped on facebook and realized....

This might not be too bad. I was critiquing the grammar and spelling of peoples updates! OH MYGAWD I'm already THINKING like an English major! Drama Queen much? Oh I think SO!

I'm meeting with a transfer counselor on Wednesday, hopefully this person WON'T make me feel like an idiot :( I've been beating myself up all day for waiting for the last minute like I always do.

It all comes down to this: I'm scared. Really scared. What if I can't get in for the fall? What if I DO get in and then fail tremendously? What if I haven't taken the right courses and need to take summer classes? It's been a long day. I need junk food.

I mean, I do like English, but do I like it enough to slave through two more years of reading books I don't care to read? Of writing meandering and pointless papers? I want a degree, but is this the right choice for me?

But it's not all doom and gloom, the teacher I've had for Shakespeare and American Lit will be thrilled, he wanted me to be an English major. At least someone will be happy.

Just wish it could be me.