On Mourning

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

My grandfather was a fantastic man, am I am blessed that for 23 years he was my grandfather. But the time came for him to leave us a few days ago. The verse above has taken on a new meaning in my life this week. I knew that in a time of mourning, that God would provide me and my family with peace, but I had not expected to be surrounded by such love and support from my friends. My friends are surrounding me with such love and care. It doesn't at all stop the pain, but it alleviates the hurt.

I cannot say I didn't have enough time with Grandpa, he was ninety years old. He and Grandma were married for 60 years. They had five children together. Seventeen grandchildren. One great-granddaughter. Grandpa served in WWII, he was an inventor, and an all-around amazing man. Truly one of the last of his generation.

And as sad as I am at this time, I cannot be sad that he is gone. The past five years were awful as his health steadily declined. He had battled cancer in the late nineties and ended up having a lung removed. He went on to live another fifteen years after the surgery. What is hard, however, is seeing my Grandmother without her husband. She is physically unbalanced as she walks around, she looks so dazed and lost. The wake yesterday was awful. Seeing Grandpa in the casket like that....it wasn't him. My Grandpa was gone, that wasn't him. Grandma looked so tied and frail. When the time came to leave and go back to her house, she didn't want to leave him. She was sobbing on my momma and daddys shoulders. And Grandpas sister, his only remaining sibling, is just as heartbroken. I saw her, and I saw myself, seventy, or eighty years down the road all alone at my last siblings funeral. Seeing them sobbing during the wake was physically painful...

I'm finding out that grief is a strange thing. It is a physical pain, it hits you at strange times. It messes with your head. The aunts, uncles, and cousins all came in for the funeral, and spending the past few days with them  has helped immensely. We filled Grandmas house with love and memories together. But when the time came for us to say goodnight and go home, that's when things would get worse for me. The only night I didn't cry myself into exhaustion, was the night that one of my friends skyped with me and sang to me silly musicals. But this is all just a part of the grieving process, this is all normal. I will be ok. Not today. Not tomorrow. But every day I get a little bit better, a little closer to ok.

Casual Encounters of the Blog Kind.

Man, Shannon is a good blogger. Like, really really good. Ok, that could just be my opinion, I'm not really in the blogging world at all. Maybe she's actually a horrid blogger. But to me, she's good. Her posts are always well thought out, often personal matters that she has chosen to share. Me? I blog about the weird, random junk that clutters up my head. And I blog very sporadically, when I feel like it. For me, blogging is just a fun way to yell nonsense into the internet. No one here knows my name (unless they knew it prior to finding my blog, and I tell very few people about my blog), and I don't have the established readership that Shannon does. Well, except for Southern Brother (Hi dude). I know he reads it.

 I could probably do an entire post about this picture.

But the thing that keeps me writing, that keeps me spewing my randomness into the void is seeing how much blogging can be a useful way to express your feelings. Shannon has gone through a lot in her life, the past few years especially. I've seen her draw strength and support from her readers, and become a better person through the therapeutic expression of emotions. Though I have had little that compares with the hardships she has faced, what I have dealt with was hard for me. I've shared about my two very much failed relationships, the problems I've had in higher education, and family health problems. It's helped, knowing that somewhere out there, someone read my problem and for just a minute, listened to my woes. Though as I said, I don't have much of a wide or regular readership, someone in the world cared for a moment.

 So go ahead, try blogging! It's fun, it helps organize your thoughts, you'll meet cool people, and you might just learn more about yourself!

Hope y'all enjoyed this brief foray into my head, and thanks to Shannon for letting me be a guest blogger!

30 Days of Movies: Oh Goodness, Why Am I Doing This....

Damnation  but I hate Twilight.

I won't even post a picture, cause I don't want to even Google the movie poster.

I have seen a LOT of movies. A lot have been based off of books, cause I really like books. But from my years of experience reading books and watching movies, I have learned that book to film adaptions can go really RIGHT or really WRONG.

Twilight went really wrong from the beginning.

I can't blame everything on the film itself, the source material was pretty lousy. But the first Twilight movie was just so bad...so very bad

. First off, the movie is blue. VERY blue. As in, shot through a blue lens for no reason blue. I still can't figure out the bizarre lighting choice, if it was meant to set a tone, well it didn't really work too well. It just made everything look weird and all the people look like they had frostbite.

But once you stop noticing all the weird lighting choices, you notice all the horrid actors. And you WISH you could stop noticing the bad acting and go back to that blissful time when just the lighting was weird. But the acting is bad. Like, how do these people call themselves professional actors bad. Again, I realize they were working off piss poor source material, but still! They are all so stiff in their roles, clearly trying to live up to the impossible standards that millions of Twi-hards had dreamed up by the time the movie released! It was pathetic to see actors that in other roles were superb (Rob Pattinson MADE Cedric Diggory) so ridiculously miscast. I've seen the actors who played Jasper and Rosalie in a few other roles and they actually weren't half bad. But really, for the most part, the cast sucked. Kristen Stewart can't even PRETEND to like her character, and the rest of them are all over acting, trying to 'embrace the character' and its 'full potential'. GAG.


Ugh, even just thinking about how much I used to like this fandom bugs me.
Ah well, live and learn, I suppose.

My rating: 1 star. Watch at your own risk. Unless you have rifftracks or something to make it more tolerable.



When you live forever, what do you live for?
 
Better movies than this one.

30 Days of Movies: Interstella 5555

Daft Punk + anime = this

Another prime example of my wide taste in movies, after one viewing, this movie shot to a place on my top 5 list of favorite animated movies. Fan-frikin-tastic.

First off, this movie is NOT for everyone. There is no dialogue. None. Not a word. Anything that's 'said', is expressed through the beautiful lyrics of Daft Punk. This whole movie is the 'visual realization' of their album Discovery, so the songs craft the plot and provide a sort of dialogue for the characters. On top of that weirdness, its not traditional style animation, its anime style. And the characters are blue aliens. Soooo....not for everyone.

But for those who are intrigued enough to look into this, you are in for a treat. The plot is a bit confusing, I had to watch it with the Wikipedia plot summary up on my laptop. Somethings will be easier to understand with that up. For example, the characters all have names! Never would have known that just from the songs.

The animation is so pretty, it's really my favorite style of anime. The lines are so clear and precise, and the detail is stunning. Daft Punk makes everything better, so in this instance it makes a good move absolutely great! The soundtrack really sets the tone of the film to the point that you almost don't notice the lack of dialogue. And what character wouldn't want development to happen while Daft Punk's Superheros played and you jumped out of a plane?

 My review: 5 stars. Give it a chance.

Cause there's something between us anyway.

30 Days of Movies: The Grey

Or, as I call the movie: Liam Neeson: Wolf Puncher

I hate football. So I decided that seeing a movie I knew NOTHING about rather than watch the Superbowl. I cannot emphasize that enough, I knew nothing about this movie.  Hadn't seen a single trailer, had no idea what the plot was, and I honestly thought the title was Wolf Puncher. I had just been expecting a simple film about a guy fighting wolves somewhere....like some kind of weird hobby, or fight club.

Needless to say, I was a bit confused when the whole plot thing showed up. The plot is interesting, don't get me wrong, but also predictable. It's an action/thriller so there is plenty of tension, action shots, and shaky camera work. But for all the beautiful scenery, breathless moments, and touching flashback scenes, the movie still felt like it was lacking something. I never truly felt drawn into the story, the entire film I was very aware that I was an observer watching a film in a theater. 

I didn't feel much for any of the stranded men. Even as they [spoiler alert] one by one are killed in horrible [and almost humorously predictable] ways, I just didn't care. They had cheated death already once when they survived the plane crash, and you CANNOT cheat Hades for long without any repercussions. As the pack of wolves picks off the survivors one by one and with nature taking care of the ones the wolf pack misses, I decided it was best to root for the killers so as not to incur the wrath of Hades on myself. I liked the more creative deaths and rolled my eyes as they slowly became more ho-hum.

But for all the things I didn't like about the film, there is something I couldn't complain about. It was shot magnificently. The setting really helped tell the story, and I found myself admiring the trees and rocks more than even Liam Neeson. And I adore Liam Neeson.

Now, all that being said, I think this film would be brilliant in the perfect setting. It would be a great movie to watch with a group of friends to make fun of it, while also allowing for a more serious discussion of the battle of man vs nature and the futility of the human struggle. I was lucky in seeing it with a friend who didn't mind talking during the show, so we naturally made snarky remarks for most of it.

My rating: 2.5/3 stars. Best seen only when the time is right.

Live or die on this day. Live. Or die.

30 Days of Movies: The Help

Yaay standing up to racism!!

 I really wanted to do a movie that WASN'T based on a book but...well I didn't. I'll eventually get to that. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't read the book yet. But I'll eventually get to that too. Now I'm kinda tired tonight so this is gonna be a brief review.

Ok, so, The Help. Good movie. But just as with Crazy, Stupid, Love, I think this was a bit over praised for me to really enjoy. The storyline was a bit predictable, but the cast was phenomenal. It began to feel a bit long, oh, around the halfway point. Ultimately, though this was such an interesting topic, I just wasn't as entranced as everyone else. Oh well.

My review: 3 stars. Hoping the book is better.

Be wary of disgruntled former maids bearing pies.

30 Days of Movies: As You Like It

Because SHAKESPEARE!

Shakespeare is not an easy author to understand. The English of the time Shakespeare wrote in is so far removed from our modern English, that you genuinely have to work to understand the meanings within the meanings WITHIN the meanings! It's mind-bending. But it is oh so worth it. I'll admit, I'm a bit of an English major fail here...I've never read the play. I know, I know, but I never claimed to be a great English major. OR even LIKING being an English major. But I like Shakespeare, I know that.

As You Like It is easily my favorite adaptation of a Shakespeare play. As you might have guessed from my Bride & Prejudice review, I like films that adapt books in a unique and different ways. This play is typical Shakespeare work, but the film transplants the activity to 19th century Japan. The costuming is gorgeous, and the score sets the tone of the film without being distracting or annoying. I adore the casting selection, especially in the roles of Orlando and the two Dukes (played by the same man)

Like any work of the Bard, it takes repeated viewings to really understand. I think I've seen this movie five times and every time I watch it I notice something new! 

In the interest of full disclosure, this was not released in theaters, it was broadcast on HBO. But it's my blog and I wanted to review it so THERE.

My review: 4 stars.Watch, but with a dictionary next to you!

All the worlds a stage.

30 Days of Movies: Crazy, Stupid, Love

I usually put a movie poster up here but...yeeahhhhhhh

I don't think I'd heard a single bad thing about this movie from my friends who saw it. Girls were raving about it, saying how perfect it was. With reviews like that, I was really looking forward to seeing this film, yet still cautious. In my experience, anytime reviews are THAT good the film cannot live up to the hype.

The movie was alright, had some good laughs and a very surprising twist towards the end. Casting was good, overall story was good, and Ryan Gosling has uh-MAZING abs. But I really and truly didn't feel like this movie was as brilliant as I'd been lead to believe. There were laughs, but they were the usual laughs. There was a big twist, but in retrospect it wasn't that surprising.

Though I didn't fall in love with this movie, it really is the perfect movie for a girls night or just to see what everyone is so crazy about. It's cute, funny, and a good way to spend a few hours.

My rating: 3 stars. Worth watching, but don't rush out and get it.

I'd call it more Silly, Foolish, Like.

30 Days of Movies: Bride and Prejudice

Ideal movie for fans of Jane Austen, as well as an awesome intro to Bollywood films.

I am a self-proclaimed Jane Austen nut. I own all her novels and eagerly watch every film version and judge the transition from book to film. Some Austen movies are wonderful. Others are good. Some are downright awful. Bride & Prejudice is a clear winner.

First off, the transition from Regency England to modern India was a stroke of genius. The cultures are surprisingly similar, so the modernization doesn't change much from the basic plot. But the best part of this film is the soundtrack! The songs are typical  Bollywood fare and hard to resist dancing or trying to sing along with. I joke with my Momma that I want my bothers to do the first song and dance from the friend's engagement party at my own engagement party. Once you see it, you'll understand.

Seeing a beloved Austen classic updated from a time when we usually picture the world in dull, muted colors into a world of bright shimmering hues is overwhelming but again it works! Colors are always bright and beautiful in Bollywood films, but again this serves as a great Bolly intro film because the colors don't overwhelm the scenes.

Watching the familiar story unfold in a new way is always refreshing. I recommend this film for anyone who wants a change from the usual Austen fare, or who wants to dip their toe in the enormous pool of Bollywood films! But I can admit that this film might not be for everyone, true Austen sticklers might not appreciate the changes made to the story, or even to the updated settings (no matter how well it is done).

Heads up, I REALLY love foreign movies, so be ready for a lot more of these films to be reviewed during the challenge!

My rating: 4.5 stars, find a copy!

No life without wife!

30 Days of Movies: The Hunger Games!

Katniss Everdeen the girl on FIRE!

Wow. Really, wow. I am something of a book nerd, and seeing a beloved book turned into a movie is always a difficult thing to do well. I did my best not to get too excited so as to not be disappointed, but I shouldn't have worried.

I did feel it started out a bit slow, but the books started out a bit slower. What I found interesting was that people who did not read the books argued that it started too quickly. Hmm. Would love to hear other peoples opinions on this! The story progressed along quite well, very little was cut and only minor plot points were changed. The translation from book to page was wonderful.

My biggest 'problem' was the Girl on Fire outfit in the chariots, I had pictured the flames being all over her body and not restricted as it looked to her back and shoulders. Ah well. But there were plenty of other things to make up for that. The general look, and feel of the film was stunning. My friend pointed out the difference between how District 12 was shot (with handheld, shaky shots) and how the Capitol was shot (sweeping anchor shots). Even more noticeable differences, like with wardrobe, were further enhanced by the differences in color palate, age of citizens, and even their dogs.

The overall message of the film was good, though it usually gets less attention by the screaming teen fans. Don't trust the government, a hero can be born by simply providing hope, and beware the draw of reality television in out shock based culture. Katniss never set out to change the world, but she stepped up. She became a symbol without seeking fame. She was selfless and humble to the point of being unaware and uncaring about her fame. The government wants its people to be to oppressed to speak up or overthrow them. NEVER let that happen. Once a government becomes a dictatorship, not even your children are safe. People will do anything to keep their children safe.

My rating: 5 stars, see in theaters

May the odds be ever in your favor.

30 Days of Movies!

So my friend Shannon at Eat, Pray, Love, LIVE! started yet ANOTHER thirty day blog challenge. This one was more relaxed, instead of thirty different topics planned out for everyday, this challenge will basically just direct my blog for the next thirty days.

I always get the most blog hits when I post movie reviews, so I figured that would be a good topic to go with! I'll post the links back to each day on this post.

First up, The HUNGER GAMES!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

A modern Indian twist on a beloved classic!

Who doesn't love chick flicks?

Call me not a fool till Heaven hath sent me a fortune.

Ahh, I love the smell of racial progression in the morning.

Yes, this movie was based on a book too.

Oh, you know, just another movie with blue people. 

Bacon: Proof That God Loves Us

I.

Love.

Bacon

Bacon is the tastiest way in existence to eat animal fat.
Bacon makes people happy.

Bacon brings people together. You like bacon? Oh, so do I! We should converse about bacon and other awesome things!

People say that bacon is BAD, that it causes heart attacks and high cholesterol. Those people are liars and have never had bacon or known true happiness. Pity those people. And give them bacon.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal in Denmark

Friends are basically the best things in the world to have. If you don't have friends, I really recommend finding/buying some friends.

 

I went out with two of my best friends (and Ryan) tonight. We sat in a McDonalds and had a Shamrock Shake Adventure ( #ShamrockShakeAdventure). It was entirely delightful. I laughed with my friends (and Ryan) and we all talked for hours. I'm not really that big on the whole 'socialization' scene, finding human interaction at times awkward and difficult. But you would struggle too if throughout most conversations you had with people too if you were trying to figure out if they were cylons or not. But when it comes to good friends (and Ryan), aka people I'm pretty sure are NOT cylons, I can relax and have fun. Maybe not Ryan. Dunno. Only met him twice. But he doesn't seem like a cylon. Not that cylons ever really seem like cylons.

Anyways, this post is just my way of telling you that friends are cool. And that once I'm finished writing and posting this, and you finish reading this, you should go to McDonalds and have a Shamrock Shake. They are very tasty.

Stuck in the Friendzone With You

Friendzone- The friendzone is when a person A likes person B, but is afraid to tell person B because they are good friends and person A doesn't want to lose person B as a friend.

Story of my LIFEEEE.

 My entire college experience has been one long reminder that I'm a friendzone kinda girl. It fracking sucks. Not to say that guys are never interested in me, but any interest exhibited is ridiculously short-lived. It baffles me, I'm funny, smart, at least a little pretty, a nerd, politically minded, a comic book girl, I like dogs, and I think action movies are awesome. What's not to like about me?! 

I try not to take it personally, or scream at people when they tell me its just not the right time, that the right guy hasn't come around yet. I understand they mean well, but they don't understand. I don't want a relationship right now, I just want someone to be interested in me as more than just their awesome friend. To be seen as a woman, as something special, as something desirable. I know it will happen one day...but after a time, it's a bummer.

Whats even worse is when my friends get into relationships and I find my friends friendzoning me. Suddenly I don't exist to them beyond being someone to talk about how AWESOME their new significant other is. You cannot believe how old this gets. I get that new relationships are all lovey-dovey and all that crap, but come one. A little effort goes a long way.

And fellow friendzone-dwellers, maybe it's time we spoke up! Even if they don't feel the same way, isn't it better to know where you stand? Maybe they never thought about you like that because they think you're not interested or they just need to get their brain going in that direction. Ideas are funny things, once its in your head it isn't going anywhere. And it usually gets more persistent the more you try not to focus on it. Just try.

Whatever you do, do not think about an elephant spinning around in  a blue suit right now. Just don't

How Unexpectedly Amusing

Goodness my experiences with the opposite sex never cease to amuse me.

While I don't have any potential suitors on the horizon, a former suitor has made his way back into my life. The last guy I dated has decided he wants to be my friend again. And I seem to be agreeing. Don't get me wrong, he was a horrible boyfriend, but he is a good guy. We just weren't suited to each other. He's still the self absorbed, arrogant person he was before, but now that we aren't dating I don't care! He can be as big a jerk as he wants to be, he's not my problem anymore. I can get mad at him and not have to worry how it will effect 'us'. His opinion matters nothing to me. I look at him, and I don't feel anything romantic. He's just him.

Now all that explanation aside, you might be wondering how the devil this all came about.

It all started when I needed to use someone.

I had a final last semester at 8 AM. And I might be many things, but a morning person I am not nor shall I ever be. So as you have probably guessed, I was hardly delighted with the thought of waking up at 6, to be leaving the house by 7, to make the 30 minute drive to campus for the exam. And since a group of students from the class had decided to meet up the night before on campus to study, and I had two papers to finish that same night, I knew that going home would just mean distractions and sleeping. Two things I did NOT have time for.

I was seriously considering just camping out in a library on campus, but considering how easy it would have been for one of the hundreds of jerks on campus to come along and pilfer my belongings once I inevitably nodded off, I decided against that.

I had no other choice. I simply didn't feel safe staying either in the library or in my car, so I took a breath and messaged him on facebook. I'm not too proud to say I begged. I was desperate. But he was fine with it off the bat, no excessive pleading or bribery necessary. 

I was nervous but to desperate to make a big fuss. I hadn't spoken with him beyond the odd text here and there since the afternoon we broke up. I kept thinking we wouldn't be able to talk, that it would be all bizarre. I waited for him to pick me up and take me to his apartment on campus with a million doubts in my head. This was weird, this was a bad idea, what if I'm not as over him as I'm so certain I am? What if he isn't over me? What if he tries something? Is this a bad idea?

But the time his truck pulled up, I was in something of a state. But I knew myself. So I took a breath, put on a smile, and refused to let any weirdness overwhelm me.

I should never have doubted either of us. It was as if we had never stopped being friends. We talked for HOURS. Literally. Non-stop talking and joking back and forth. We filled each other in on our lives and how much we both hated our University. We even talked about our brief dating fling and how much of a mistake it was. Talking and spending time with him was so easy and comfortable. But the best part of the whole time was realizing that I felt absolutely nothing for him! He was simply who he was, my friend. Nothing more. I had told my friends the night before where i would be staying, and they (understandably) freaked out. What, they insisted, was I going to do If he still liked me or had feelings for me? My reply was simple: I would do nothing, I have no feelings for him nor any desire to fall back into his arms, thus his feelings are irrelevant and have no bearing on my decision. (If you were wondering yes I do talk like this in everyday life. I'm quite pompous.) But you cannot imagine my relief when I realized just how true that was. We are friends. Good friends I'd even go so far as to say. But that is all we will ever be.


So while some of you might be rolling your eyes at my firm declarations, let me assure you with one last story. After my crashing at his place at the end of the fall semester, we had begun texting back and forth and decided to meet up once the spring semester started up. So the first day back to class we go out to lunch together. (Side note, a little old busybody lady from church saw us at Subway. Yes things like that do happen in real life.) He began gearing up to ask me a question, flattering me and telling me what a great person I was, so pretty and smart and nice. I'll admit, I had a horrible moment of 'Oh noes, he's going to ask me out...I wonder if I would live if I jumped out of a moving vehicle'. NOPE! He wanted me to set him up with a girl who had a class with me last semester. Cue huge sigh of relief! So while we are not interested in each other, we do use each other, for relationship advice in my case, and to meet females in his case. So until he begins to annoy me too much to bear, we are friends.

I'm teaching him to tango on Wednesday.