Really? Me? Wowzers, Thanks!

I smile. Like, ALL THE TIME. :)

SEE????

I do it because I figure the world is so dour and gloomy that if I can in some small way brighten someone's day then I should! You should too, because you never know, smiling at people can lead them to say suuuperrrr nice things to you, like it did for me a few weeks ago at work. It was one of those days when something bad would happen but be immediately glossed over when something good happened which would then be checked out by something bad and so on. Well, as I was wandering around at work, getting paid to ponder the strange balance of good/bad in this particular day, I just absently smile at an old lady. She sees me, smiles back, and I assumed that would be the end of it.

But she came over to talk to me.

As I said in my first blog, my job is boring. What I did not say was that at my job I have a super power. Yes I do. Anyone with the same job that I do has this ability. I can become.....INVISIBLE!
Gasp! Yep, its true, if I ever mention my profession, test it out. Generally speaking we're only seen if we WANT to be seen. Like goblins, elves, and faeries. Back to the story...

So this lady comes over to me and says: "Oh honey, you're so beautiful! You know, you could be a model! Your skin, your hair, your smile, everything!" I fumbled out a thank you while grinning like an idiot, and she went on, "Thank you so much for smiling and for letting me come over and talk to you." And she left.

Wow.

Really.

:)

Other girls might get that all the time. But not me. I've never complemented to my face in such a kind and sincere way. I'm not ugly, but I don't often see myself as beautiful. I'm average. Brown hair and eyes, average (but slightly curvy) size, still spotty with my complexion, a bit on the tall-ish side. Nothing too special. But wow, ever since that lady told me that I was beautiful enough to MODEL....wow. Kinda made me see myself differently.

Like how my hair really is cool, its got these awesome, sexy, natural waves to it, and its naturally streaked with red. My eyes are bright and expressive like a Disney character, and my eyebrows are soooo much fun. My lips are full, not like Angelina Jolie, but they hold their own. I've got a great smile and laugh that makes my eyes crinkle all up and my nose wrinkle so adorably! Sure, I still get zits, but having them has taught me how to apply makeup really well. And the curves? Oh baby, size 12 is not fat. I'm either soft and cuddly like a Care Bear, or voluptuous and stunning like classic (read: NOT rail thin) model.

I am ME. And I LOVE being me. It's taken me 21 years, but I can finally wake up and more days then not, I love me. I don't see the fat, awkward, shy girl I saw for years. Nope. Now I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy....Wait, no I don't. Sorry, I hate Ke(insert stupid dollar sign)ha too, but it's so much fun to make fun of a little white girl that feels like a big black dude when she wakes up.....oh, its just me that thinks that?....*ahem*....moving on....I feel beautiful, quirky, silly, smart, clever, blessed, and unique. It's taken years to change that stupid mindset I had, but now I look back and think "GIRL (apparently my inner voice is a sassy black woman)! What were you THINKING?? You are a Rock Star!! Get out there and blow them all away, your stage is set and the audience is cheering for YOU!!!!! I love you and you'll do just fine. Now get out there and shine baby girl. It's what you were born to do."

Use those words, or whatever variation you deem suitable, when you need. Because I'm here now, cheering you on. You are beautiful. You are so smart. Your talents absolutely blow me away. And I mean all this so sincerely, you ROCK and I love you so much. Get out there and rock.

Meanwhile I shall return to my papers that are due. One more page for American Lit (this will be interesting since I ran out of stuff to say, oh 4 pages ago...), then 3 for Interpersonal Communication, and 3 for Biomedical Ethics (on the ever cheerful topic of abortion!). And miles to go before I sleep......